Tuesday Tangents is hosted by Florinda of The 3 R's Blog
A couple of months ago, my husband and I were discussing whether girls or boys are more difficult to raise. I mentioned this to a coworker one day and she immediately responded, "Girl!" Her reason: because you have to prepare girls to find a decent man and be a good wife.
My cats seem to be a source of disapproval. I have received a number of surprised looks when I respond in the affirmative that we will be keeping the cats (and the dog) even after the baby is born.
Requesting that people not touch my belly without asking only serves as a challenge for some evidently.
Since I became pregnant, it's become even more obvious how process oriented I am. When my husband and I are out and about, he'll smile when he sees a baby while I am more interested in the pregnant woman I caught sight of. I can't help but wonder how far along she is, will I get that big, and can she relate to this or that symptom I've been having? My friend says this will change once I am further along.
Anya had a veterinarian appointment this past weekend to see if the decrease in medication affected her red cell count. Unfortunately it did. She's going to go a couple more weeks with the decreased dosage to see if she stabilizes; however, if she doesn't, we'll put her back on the full dosage.
Anya was put on a diet two weeks ago by the veterinarian. She's gained a couple of ounces since then. My feeling is that she is showing her support to me and doesn't want me to be alone in the weight gain. Especially now that Anjin is determined to lose weight too. I'm not sure the vet agrees.
Anjin and I spent Saturday interviewing prospective child care providers. I went armed with a long list of questions, which I'm sure the providers are used to especially when dealing with new parents.
Anjin and I have never had a camera on our cell phones--until now. I have discovered it's a dangerous weapon in the hands of my husband. Instead of aiming the camera at me, he'd be wise to aim it in the direction of the animals. Or maybe the lizard who has taken up residence right outside our front door.
Having a phone with e-mail and Twitter capabilities is a dream come true. And also a curse. Now I'll be checking my e-mail every five minutes. So, why haven't you e-mailed me?
Halloween is a terrible holiday. Tootsie Rolls. Rollos. Mini candy bars. Too much tempting candy around!
What have you been up to? Any random thoughts you would like to share?
© 2010, Wendy Runyon of Musings of a Bookish Kitty. All Rights Reserved.If you're reading this on a site other than Musings of a Bookish Kitty or Wendy's feed, be aware that this post has been stolen and is used without permission.
I have (almost) raised two girls and a boy and I can tell you that in my personal experience --- boys are FAR easier to raise :)ReplyDelete
I love tootsie rolls and bit o'honey this time of year. So far I have been very good and have not brought any in the house (yet)
Unfortunately, this is only beginning of being judged by others. Not only will you be condemned for keeping the animals, you will be judged on whether you breastfeed or not, whether you stay home or not, natural childbirth or drugs, and on and on. Seriously, to hell with them all, do what you think is best. You just have to stand your ground. People think you are their business once you are pregnant!ReplyDelete
Sandy's right! I'm not a mommy but I've thought about the approach I'd take for people like these. So, Wendy, you know what to do! *GRIN*ReplyDelete
Please say Hello to Anya for me, and also to all your other furkids.
I only have experience raising girls, and it has been a wonderful experience, but I am appalled by your coworker's line of reasoning!ReplyDelete
I would not worry about animals. We have always had cats and they were no problem with babies. Of course it's possible the child will be allergic but then you'd rather find that out wouldn't you?
As for that phone with camera, think how great that will be when the baby arrives. You can catch every single cute thing he or she does, right in the moment! I know I missed a lot of photo ops not having a camera close at hand.
Hope you can maintain a sense of sanity with all this unsolicited advice (including mine, lol!)
The cat thing makes me crazy. Why *wouldn't* you keep them?? Stupid old wives tales.ReplyDelete
Molly - That's the side I came out on in the discussion too. LOL I'm looking forward to the challenge. :-)ReplyDelete
I'm so proud of you for not bringing the candy home. It's all over my work place right now, which is temptation enough. Otherwise, I've managed to be good about not bringing any into the home either.
Sandy - Haha! I know. It's a good thing I have a sense of humor about stuff like that so it doesn't really bother me too much.
Alice - Most of the time I just smile and move on but sometimes my snarky side comes out. It's funny the things people say and do.
I've been hearing a lot of birth stories, of course, which is to be expected. And I don't mind--yet. It does bother me though that my poor single coworker who doesn't want kids has to sit through most of it and so I often find myself trying to steer the conversation in other directions for her sake. She's such a sweetheart though. She says it only re-enforces her decision. Still, she and I spent a lot of time talking about our cats instead.
My three furkids send their greetings to you too, Alice. :-)
Laura - I couldn't believe when my coworker said that about raising girls. I was called away before I could respond to her comment--but several things ran through my head. I laugh about it, but it is sad that she thinks that way. You can rest assured I have a different philosophy when it comes to raising a daughter.
I'm looking forward to raising another animal lover and while I know animals pose a risk to babies, supervision is key. And teaching them all (animals and child) how to behave around each other. I had just assumed more people would be concerned about the dog given all the stories about dog bites that have been in the news. I never realized cats were so demonized.
Regardless, I'm having such fun with the advice and stories I'm hearing. There are times though I have to remind myself that people mean well when I find I'm getting irritated. It usually passes quickly though.
And truly, I do welcome some of the advice. I haven't a clue what I'm doing--I never paid attention to what my friends with kids went through because I wasn't sure I wanted kids for a long time. And I am the kind of person who likes to be as prepared as possible (luckily I'm also flexible because we all know there's nothing predictable about pregnancy and kids). There's some advice I take to heart and some I take with a grain of salt. And other advice goes in one ear and out the other. LOL
I totally see the camera on the phone as an asset once the baby is born. I'm glad to finally have one! Now if only hubby wouldn't feel the need to photograph me all to time . . .
Lisa - My husband credits the old wives tales too. Poor kitties get a bad rap.
I'm not even going to comment on your co-workers reply, because if I get started, I might never stop. Does he/she realize this is the 21st century. I really don't think it's the sex so much, but the child themselves - some are easier than others.ReplyDelete
I am actually really shocked by the number of new mothers I know that got rid of their cats when they found out they were pregnant. I could NEVER do that!ReplyDelete
We have had babies and animals in the house at the same time, and surprisingly, everyone survived! I think it's ridiculous for anyone to expect that you give up your animals just because a new baby is coming. After all, aren't the animals kind of like your babies too? And I agree with Halloween being an evil holiday. I have a hard time leaving the candy bowl alone while I am waiting for the kids to come knocking, and always find a way to justify eating just one more mini candy bar. The only real solution is to buy really nasty candy, like peanut chews or red hots.ReplyDelete
If you want to keep the cats out of the baby's room when you can't watch, I've finally discovered a way!ReplyDelete
The version we use is SSSCat, but there are others. It senses movement and gives a short burst of air that startles the cats. I just put one in the room we reserve for my granddaughter's visits so the bed wouldn't be covered in cat hair. The cats avoid it now. No pain, no effort, and it works great.
Bryce Eleanor loves The Triad, but I'd rather not have to keep cleaning cat hair off the bed. And, yes, I do groom them, but with 3 of them, there's always fur.
Unauthorized belly touching is the worst thing ever! Get a little hand buzzer and zap them.ReplyDelete
I hope that Anya feels better, poor thing.
And Wendy, you know how I feel about Halloween. I'll let it slide this time, but be careful (I still have a list).
I'm so glad you plan to keep the furbabies! It saddens me when I hear about people getting rid of their furbabies when they have a new kid in the house. I hope your animals feel better soon.ReplyDelete
Girls are more challenging, in my experience, but then again I got a late start (my stepdaughter was 12 when her dad and I got married), and between my sister and me, we're overrun by boys. Your co-worker's "reason" that girls are more difficult to raise is...let's just say, somewhat out of touch. Bless her heart :-).ReplyDelete
Odds are that the pets and the baby will all adapt to one another, but they'll all need to be watched carefully.
Have fun with the new cell phones!
Mini chocolate bars at this time of year always remind me of my first pregnancy -ReplyDelete
I developed gestational diabetes with my first child. I was conscientious about eating carefully, and checking my blood for two months, but I really missed chocolate. (As an aside, my one request at the hospital from my friends was to bring me a peanut buster parfait from DQ!). Anyway, I was eating well, being very good. I was due the first week of November. Halloween arrived, and I nibbled that night (or two) on the teeny, tiny chocolate bars. I ate more than I should have, I'm sure. Of course, early November 2, I go into labour. Poor little baby is born with high blood sugar, and has to be weaned down, with an IV in his head. Those tiny chocolate bars did me in. :)
Why would people be upset that the cats are staying????? Weird...now my 2 cents about which is easier...boys!!! But then again I am a boy person. I don't like the girl drama at all!!ReplyDelete
Random thought: My son is now in San Diego for Marine bootcamp. He left yesterday. No one tells you how much you will worry about your children even when they're older and ready to move on with the next journey in their lives!!
People are always talking and commenting whenever someone around them is pregnant. Let them talk, and have a good laugh after that, lol. Enjoy the pregnancy stage because the next thing you know, you've a baby that will keep your life very busy then. :)ReplyDelete
I hope Anya gets better soon! Sending my regards to you all at home! :)
I think boys are easier emotionally, but more exhausting physically! (I have one girl, three boys.) And, I will say, I'm just as worried about teaching my boys to find good women and be good husbands as I am worried about teaching my daughter to be a good wife!ReplyDelete
I love random posts like these. My husband and I argue over whether a girl or boy is easier. Definitely a boy we both agree (though I so want a little girl and am so excited that you're expecting one!). I'm sorry Anya is having such a tough time. That must be rough on you all. :(ReplyDelete
And yes, Halloween is a terrible holiday but is it really worse than Thanksgiving and Christmas? Ha!!
I have babysit both boys and girl, and I think it just depend on the child, to know which is difficult to raise. People are always going to judges, so just raise your head high and let them talk. This is your pregnancy and you do what you know is right, enjoy every moment of your baby :)ReplyDelete
Congrats on your pregnancy! I have a 2-yr-old boy and have loved every minute of it. And yes, we kept our cat. He's part of the family!!!ReplyDelete
I actually liked it when people touched my belly. I must be the only one. To me, I felt that everyone who did it did it out of good intent. For some reason, people love to connect with a unborn baby. I felt that people were only sending good wishes and love to my child by touching my belly. And I felt that that could only be a good thing. Even if they were strangers. But that is just a personal preference.
Life by Candlelight
Glad you're keeping the kits! I think some of that comes from the old wives' tale that cats "steal" babies breath. Some of it from the very rare possibility of developing a disease from the litter (I forget what it's called, but cats that go out and hunt can pick it up from infected rodents). Maybe stick hubby w/ litter duty for the duration! But that's all you have to do!ReplyDelete
Sorry about the belly touching. Friends have reported this. Maybe the next time someone does that, reach to touch her or his belly - and watch 'em jump!
And next time someone asks which is more difficult to raise (boy or girl) or which you want, simply say: YES!
Give 'em a big smile. It'll drive 'em nuts.
So many things in this post. First, when I heard (from my drug-induced, dream-like state during the c-section) that my baby was a boy I was just so happy that he was there and healthy. But it didn't take long for me to panic a bit. What do I know about being a boy? I could have at least guided a girl with experience.ReplyDelete
I loved it when people touched my belly, although I know I'm in the minority. I loved that they were sharing the happiness of my little miracle :) I apologize for the cheesy factor of that last sentence. Blame it on lack of sleep.
And we have a cat and a dog and, yes, they are both feeling neglected, but they are both adjusting. As for the cat I have heard more scary stories, which I won't freak you out with, but as long as you are keeping track of the baby it will all be fine.
Kathy - LOL I understand. I had the same reaction. And you are right, it really does depend on the child.ReplyDelete
Lenore - I couldn't do it either, Lenore. They're just as much a part of my family. I do know that there are risks with animals in the home just as there are with other humans in the home. We'll do what we need to to make things as safe as possible for everyone, furry kid or human kid.
Heather - I know there are times when it doesn't work out, a certain animal just can't adjust or a child has a severe allergy. But I'm hopeful it will work in our case. It has for so many, like for you. I hope to create another animal lover after all. :-)
So much tempting candy! It's awful. I am glad Halloween has passed. Now to worry about all those Christmas cookies and chocolates . . .
Jenclair - I'll have to look into the SSSCat. Thanks for the tip! It won't work if the baby's in our room since the litter box is in the master bath--that is unless we're moved by then. Which hopefully we will be. Fingers crossed!
I know what you mean about the hair. With two cats and a dog, it's impossible not to find fur somewhere.
Christine - Haha! I love the idea of a hand buzzer. I just want people to ask first, that's all.
I really do like Halloween--just not all the tempting candy that people bring into the office . . . :-)
Kris - Thanks, Kris. Anya seems to be doing very well these days, which is a good sign. Hopefully this means she's stabilizing. We were told she eventually could be cured, but that it takes time. That would be so nice! But, after so many setbacks, we're cautious in our optimism.ReplyDelete
It makes me sad too when I hear people get rid of their animals to make way for a baby.
Florinda - My coworker is generally a very forward thinking person, so that comment really surprised me. I do know she means well.
I'm loving the new cell phone. Maybe a little too much. LOL Being able to check my e-mail during the day is dangerous!
Elizabeth - I admit to worrying about gestational diabetes, especially since I'm already overweight. And I do have a bit of a sweet tooth, especially since becoming pregnant. I'll try to stay away from the mini chocolate bars, although I'm sure other types of candy should be kept at a distance too!
Staci - I sent a couple of my anti-baby and cat friends e-mails with photos of cats and babies cuddling together. It turned into a great opportunity to teach them that cats are not evil incarnate when it comes to babies. I don't know if they're convinced, but they are closer to accepting it isn't the worst thing in the world. It's a start.
I will keep your son in my prayers, Staci. I don't doubt you worry about them for the rest of their lives--they're so much a part of you.
Melody - I get a lot of good laughs at the things people say and some of the advice I hear. My favorite was that I shouldn't cut my hair or else my baby will have no hair. So what do I do? I went and got my hair cut! LOL
And thanks for the good thoughts towards Anya.
Carrie - I can see boys being more exhausting physically. And it's so true--both boys and girls need guidance in dealing/interacting with other people, whether it be strangers, friends or mates.ReplyDelete
Trish - Are you going to find out your baby's gender before hand? I'm so happy for you, Trish! It must be a common conversation between parents when their expecting--which would be easier. LOL
Thanksgiving isn't a big problem for me, but Christmas is an entirely different story. Haha
Julia - I do love the support I've gotten from those around me. It's like I've joined a club I didn't know existed before--or at least not one I saw on the surface. I take in what people say and either store it away for later or discard it. People mean well.
Amy (Candlelight) - Thank you, Amy! I kept wanting to e-mail you questions during the early stages but had to keep reminding myself I wasn't talking about it yet. LOL
My cats and dog are a part of my family too and I definitely want them to continue to be even with the baby coming home.
You aren't the only one who likes being touched. A friend of mine is pregnant with twins and she loves it when people touch her--even unasked. I really just want people to ask first. I probably will be okay with it if they do. Or at least more accepting. :-)
Clea - My husband said that too--about the old wives tales. I haven't changed the litter box since we started trying to get pregnant and the doctor even warned me away from weeding in the garden in case stray cats used the flower beds as a restroom. Since my cats are indoor cats, the chance of me getting the disease associated with cats is rare (and it's likely I've grown an immunity to it after all these years if they did have it), but it's always better to be safe than sorry. These aren't chores I was sad to give up. LOL
My plan is to touch back when someone touches me unasked. It'll be fun to see their reactions. :-)
Stacy - Congratulations on the birth of your son! I'm so happy for you, Stacy! Gage is beautiful. I saw that you posted about him today. :-)
My first thought at having a boy was how I'd react if he peed on me. LOL Terrible, I know, but I'm sure it happens all the time. :-) I worried about that too--what do I know about boys? But now that I know I'm having a girl, I suddenly find myself worrying about all that entails too. I think it goes with the territory. :-)
Like I was telling Amy, I really only want people to ask first. I think it's only common courtesy.
It's interesting how many scary stories there are out there about cats--when all I can think about are all the dog mauling stories I've heard recently. A dog who ate an infant's testicles was recently in the news. There are risks everywhere--I think that's why, as you said, supervision is so important.